Nanwich

• sliced deli ham
• muenster cheese
• bread
• butter

Spread bottom half of bread with butter, stack ham and cheese. Cut in half to serve.

The dish: There are few spots on earth where you feel as faultless and perfect as when you're standing in the sight of your grandparents. When your age can be counted on your fingers this becomes especially true. I bring this up because today was my paternal grandmother's funeral. My father gave the best eulogy I've ever heard and it really got me thinking about my nan as a person. Her own mother died when she was just a young child and she and her sister were raised by her uncle (another exceptional person; you'll hear more about him when I make something with honey). The obstacles my grandmother had to overcome never once diminished her spirit and her unwavering faith was the foundation of her remarkable life. She was valedictorian of her high school class and attended the college of New Rochelle on full scholarship (women in the 30s going to college? In the shadow of the 19th amendment, most were amazed they could just vote). She married my grandfather and raised 4 boys, building a family that's continually growing. 13 years ago she lost her husband of over 50 years and still remained strong, thriving in the role as the leader of the family. Her reward for such a rich and long life was a terrible disease that slowly robbed her mind from her, and yet her faith remained with her to the end. All of this of course, takes a back seat to the memories my younger self holds of the treat of going to nanny and poppy's house. My grandparents did a great job of making sure their home was always stocked with an endless variety of snacks; everything from chocolate milk, to fresh cold cuts to any type of Entenmann's cake you could imagine. One of my favorite treats was a ham and cheese sandwich nan would make where she would spread the bread with butter that was soft from sitting at room temperature. Those early memories were so great that they've left me with not only a fondness of food, but a feeling as to how a kitchen should look; nan too had a red room. All of the goodies my grandmother would give me were prepared in her red kitchen and it always seemed so sharp that when it came time to remodel ours the choice was obvious what color it had to be. It was great having nan visit our home because for someone who was always so svelte she had a great appetite and loved to try new things (that and more than anyone else in our family she loved our cat, Digit). It was great to fix nan a treat from my red kitchen, thinking back on how our roles were reversed from years earlier. In honor of nan, Kim signed us up for a walk to benefit an Alzheimer's association and as I get more information I'll be posting it as comments to this entry. If you'd like to donate or to participate, please do not hesitate to contact us.

lobster roll

• cooked and chilled lobster meat
• celery, chopped fine
• mayonnaise
• adobo
• sub rolls
• fresh lettuce, torn into pieces

Combine lobster meat (you can use our old friend crab stick in this recipe, but the real thing is such a nice treat) celery, mayo and adobo to taste in a large bowl. Pile onto lettuce placed on the rolls.

The dish: Not too long ago, after a particularly rough week for both of us, Kim and I decided we needed a brief break from everything. Not wanting to stray too far from home, we wound up in Albany to poke around the capital and check out the World Trade Center exhibit at the New York State Museum. If you haven't been, then go. The whole museum is great, but the WTC display is quite moving. The rest of the Empire State Plaza has quite a bit to see as well. Walking along the reflecting pools at the base of the large marble buildings, it's easy to get the feeling that you're in a mini-DC (another awesome place to check out). We killed a whole day exploring and as the sun began to set, darkening the sky behind the shillouette of The Egg, we decided to find somewhere to eat. We wound up in a place that was really unremarkable in every way, but figured any grub was good grub when you're starved and away from home. They advertised their "delicious" lobster roll, but I was a little reluctant to lay out too much cash for a sandwich in a dive. Kim convinced me to indulge, and the damn thing turned out to be great. Shortly after we got home somebody turned me on to 3 Kids Corp, and excited about the new source of cheap lobster and wanting to re-create our fun meal on our weekend away, I made this sandwich. It turned out great, but I think it tastes even better if you're wearing an I heart Albany t-shirt.

grilled spam and pineapple sandwich

• spam, sliced
• cored pineapple slices
• fresh baby spinach
• Dijon mustard
• hamburger bun

Grill spam and pineapple on bbq until just slightly charred. Assemble sandwich as follows (from bottom to top); bun, spinach, pineapple, spam, mustard, bun.

The dish: Spam was born as the marketing effort to revive sales of Hormel's spiced ham. The name was the result of a contest where the lucky winner, the brother of a Hormel executive (fix anyone?), won $100 for tagging the iconic canned meat. Many years later, there is no spot on the earth that consumes more Spam than Hawaii, whose citizens each eat in excess of 15 tins per year of the edible junk mail. First introduced by soldiers during World War II, Spam quickly became a staple of the native diet. The 50th state is pretty far out there and needs to import pretty much everything, so the canned meat that travels well is an obvious choice for dinner on the island. Spam is so prevalent that Hawaiian McDonald's and Burger Kings offer it on their menus. My first introduction to Spam came when I moved into a bachelor pad apartment with regular red room reader Rebecca's (up yours Judy Bussman- don't worry, your not supposed to get it) now husband, Kevin. A group of us sat and watched reluctantly as Kevin grilled us up a snack. I'm pretty open minded, but Spam just has such a connotation to it, but damned if it wasn't delicious. This sandwich is a nod to Kevin's genius grilling and the folks that call Spam their "Hawaiian steak".

secret sauce

• 1/2 cup mayo
• 1/2 cup French dressing
• sweet relish
• sugar
• salt

Combine mayo, dressing and relish. Season to taste with sugar and salt, serve chilled.

The dish: McDonald's has done a great job throughout the years making sure that when someone hears the phrase "secret sauce", they think of nothing other than the golden arches. It's as though Mickey Dees alone has the market cornered on unknown tastes. This is particularly odd because the condiment is not that secretive at all. Commonly thought to be a variation on thousand island dressing, the sauce actually turns out best when started with a mayo and French dressing base. McDonald's has stuck to offering it only as a topping on the Big Mac, but it works really well on a number of different things.

sulky subs

• 3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• sub rolls
• fresh basil, chopped fine
• soft goat cheese (acorn hill is the best if you're local)
• 4 Pine Island onions, sliced into thin rings
• brown sugar
• Balsamic vinegar

In a small pat of butter over a medium-high flame, saute the onions until translucent, about 3-5 minutes. Reduce flame to medium, add a spoonful of brown sugar and a generous swirl around the pan of vinegar. Continue to saute, stirring occasionally, until onions reduce to about a third of their size, about 20 minutes. Meanwhile, beat the hell out of the chicken with a meat tenderizer, grill until fully cooked and slice into bite sized pieces. Assemble sandwich by spreading goat cheese on bottom half of bun, sprinkle a little basil over it, top with warm chicken and finish with onions.

The dish: I decided to test out that old saying "a bad day at the track is better than a good day at the office" (unless of course you're my boss or client, in which case this entry is a work of pure fiction). I live within about 25 minutes of the oldest, active racetrack in the country, so for the 5 or so days a year they race there it would be senseless to go anywhere else. I've been to the track enough times to know three things: 1. there is no such thing as a sure thing 2. any race with Stephane Bouchard is going to be great 3. although they don't get the national attention the thoroughbreds get, the standardbreds race with a great deal of heart and are beautiful ponies. Kim and I had a great afternoon and even had a chance to check out the Harness Racing Museum, a must if you haven't been yet. The kind folks in the gift shop helped me pick out the cool plate you see above. I wasn't sure what to showcase on it, but did a fair amount of research and found that folks at trotting races must not eat but those blue bloods at the triple crown do nothing but. One of the more famous thoroughbred foods are dainty finger sandwiches. Harness racing is anything but dainty, involving the jockeys strapped to the sulkies, bouncing behind the trotting horse past the stands of screaming fans that look nothing like Audrey Hepburn and Rex Harrison. What would these enthusiastic on-lookers eat if they were more concerned about food and less about horses, like their counterparts in Kentucky and Belmont? Surely nothing dainty, but a substantial sandwich that would replenish some of the energy lost for cheering at the photo finish. Some chicken and local goat cheese and basil, topped off with the bounty of the neighboring onion capital of the world, named after the simple machine that separates their races from those other ones. If you haven't been to a harness race, then go. They'll be racing all this weekend at the Historic Track, and as the name implies it's like stepping back in time. Ladies, make sure you have on your favorite Royal Ascot, and gents make sure that you've got the fixings for a sulky sub in the fridge, as you'll need some fuel when the posting is done.

turkey with mixed spring greens and apples on rye

• thin sliced turkey breast (I roasted and sliced my own)
• 1 red delicious apple, slice thin
• mixed greens of your liking
• good quality mustard
• good quality rye bread

Assemble sandwich in this order: bread, mustard, turkey, apple, greens, top piece of bread. My many years in deli work have made me nutty with always making sure that condiments go on the bottom and veggies always go on top. Any greens will work, but if you're near a Hannaford pick up the spring mix with herbs. Likewise, use whatever mustard tickles you, I had some spicy brown Grey Poupon which rocked. I roasted and sliced my own turkey breast, but if your kitchen doesn't look like the inside of a deli any good turkey will work, but I avoid Boar's Head like the plague as their meats are nothing but a celebration of funk and salt.

The dish: I really miss the 90s sometimes. It could just be short term nostalgia but things really seemed so much newer and brighter in the decade that introduced us to cell phones and Chicken Soup for the Soul books. Although one part of the 90s I certainly don't long for anymore is what I like to call Seinfelditis, the tendency in almost any conversation for someone to make some analogy using an episode of the fabled TV show: wow, you like junior mints too? this is just like that time on Seinfeld... In the decade since Jerry has gone the way of the beanie baby and the phenomenon has mostly died out. That is of course until someone finds out I own a deli slicer, and then I always get remember the Seinfeld where Kramer feed the cat with the slicer? I'm not much of a TV person to begin with and the show never struck a chord with me, but the slicer episode is one of the two I've actually seen (the junior mints one being the other) and it was pretty funny, but slightly tragic when Elaine leveled her heel with the blade. Truth be told, the occasional bout of Seinfelditis is a small price to pay for the convenience of owning a slicer. Whether it's making my own lunch meats, slicing vegetables, or cutting perfectly even pieces of crostini for fresh bruschetta, the slicer is a must have for the red room. I highly advocate picking one up, just like Seinfeld you'll wonder how you ever lived without it.

Champagne crab cake sandwich

• 1 can lump crab meat (I used chicken of the sea)
• 1 pouch fresh crab meat (it will be refrigerated)
• 2 packages imitation crab meat, chopped finely
• 1 large onion, finely diced
• 2/3 cup of bread crumbs
• Dijon mustard
• 2 large eggs
• mayonnaise
• fresh parsley, chopped fine
• old bay seasoning
• 2 tablespoons Champagne vinegar (or any white wine vinegar)

In a skillet over medium heat brown the onion for 3-5 minutes in a little olive oil or until just opaque. Combine all the crab (making sure the imitation is chopped finely), onion, bread crumbs, a tablespoon of mustard, eggs, old bay and vinegar in a large bowl. Mix together and form into sandwich sized patties. Using same skillet as onion, cook each crab cake over a high flame in a little bit of oil until just browned. Transfer cakes onto lightly greased cookie sheet and bake uncovered for 20 minutes at 350. Stir together equal parts mayonnaise and mustard and add parsley. Serve crab cakes on nice rolls with shredded lettuce and sauce.

The dish: Imitation crab stick, as the name implies, is not crab at all. I refer to it as "bologna of the sea", but that's not really accurate either. Beef bologna is made from the parts of a cow that you can't sell in any other way. The crab stick has no crab at all in it (even the undesirable parts) and instead is ground up Alaska Pollock, a plentiful, flavorless whitefish that's in crazy abundance up in northern Alaska and Japan. It's not at all bad for you and can really work well in a dish if done right. I use it in the crab cakes because it's as cheap as the breadcrumbs and gives a great texture and flavor without being too fishy. The Champagne vinegar was a bottle I got on sale at Marshall's and have just been looking for ways to use it, but any white wine vinegar would work well. This recipe made 8 BIG crab cakes, so unless you need a lot you might want to cut back, but like meatloaf, this recipe is very forgiving about not using exact amounts of ingredients.

happy husband

• fresh baby spinach, rinsed
• 1 large egg
• sausage patty
• roll or bagel

Cook sausage patty (our favorite is Morningstar Farms meatless patties, we're carnivores and love these things- great flavor with almost no grease), place on bread. Fry egg to your liking, we do over hard. Place egg on patty and top with spinach, letting the heat from the sandwich slightly wilt the leaves.

The dish: In addition to my lovely wife's full time gig as a math teacher in a middle school, she also moonlights as a college professor once a week and teaches two Spin classes a week at our local gym. Yes, you read that right- three jobs, I tell her one more and I can be a kept man. She has a real passion for teaching Spin and I love being part of her Monday evening class, but her Saturday morning class begins at 7:15AM and I just feel like that thin line between Friday night and Saturday morning is almost non-existent at that hour. She also makes it too easy not to go to her class, bringing me the paper and breakfast in bed when she returns. She's experimented with all different variations on the breakfast sandwich theme, and this one's the winner- it's satisfying without being greasy and it's a great way to begin the day.

insider tuna

• 3 cans of tuna, drained
• 1/3 cup of bread crumbs
• 1/4 cup mayonnaise
• adobo, I prefer the con pimienta variety
• dried dill
• old bay seasoning

Combine drained tuna with other ingredients and blend well. If mixture appears to have too much mayonnaise, add more breadcrumbs for balance. If mixture appears too dry, then add more mayonnaise. Use just a little old bay seasoning, with a healthy shake of the adobo and 2 healthy shakes of the dill. Serve on your favorite bread with spinach for extra flavor.

The dish: If you've ever ordered a tuna sandwich at a deli and thought, "why doesn't my tuna come out like this", the answer is in three parts: 1. the original idea was to cut costs, but adding breadcrumbs to the mixture totally enhances the flavor. 2. Always drain your tuna before you do anything with it, the funk in the can doesn't bring anything to the party. 3. The deli only makes tuna once, maybe twice a week. The longer all these flavors sit together (within reason, of course) the better they all become. If you happen to have a ripe avocado, which I did not at time of writing this, a few slices on top turns this sandwich into a superstar.